A first date is a nerve-wracking event for many people. There are so many things that can go wrong, but it’s also an opportunity for you to really show your personality and highlight all the good things you have to offer a potential mate. Yet there are a few common mistakes that can make your date run for the hills before they get to know you. Here are a few common first date mistakes to avoid at all costs:

1. Showing up late
You know it’s a bad sign when you show up at the agreed upon restaurant, and your date is nowhere to be found…for a half hour, or worse, over an hour. Besides showing how unreliable you are to your new love interest, being tardy for a first date can also make your paramour feel disrespected. So be smart, plan ahead and arrive early to avoid the embarrassment of being late for a first date. While accidents and traffic do happen, you can avoid making a poor impression if you’re running a bit late by notifying your date immediately. After all, if you don’t  value your date’s time this early on; how respectful will you be months or years into the relationship?

2. Focusing on your phone and not your date
Sure, many of us are connected pretty much 24-7 these days. In fact, you may have even met your date on an elite singles site or by searching “how to meet singles online”. However, it’s the worst feeling when your date can’t tear their eyes from their screen for even a minute to get to know you.  Nothing says, “I’m not interested in being here with you” more than checking your texts over and over, or taking a call during a dinner date. Not only is it extremely rude; you most likely won’t get a second date. So don’t be the person who can’t stop obsessing over their phone so much that it distracts you from enjoying the present moment.

3. Bringing up past relationships
It may be tempting to try and connect with your date by telling them about how awful your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend was. Keep in mind that your current date is just getting to know you, and they don’t know (or want to know) about every little thing that went wrong in your previous relationships this early on. In fact, talking too much about an ex might give the impression that you’re still fixated on a past flame. So try and avoid bringing up specific exes on a first date. If your date asks specific questions about your past relationships, keep your answers general and change the subject. You don’t owe a stranger an entire rundown of your dating history, and it’s important to get to know someone before you’re comfortable sharing your entire life story.

4. Talking about yourself too much
Ideally, on any first date, there’s a natural give and take to the conversation. As you’re getting to know one another, you will ask questions and your date will do the same. So even though you want to let your personality shine, resist the urge to dominate the conversation by talking on and on about yourself. This can come across domineering and over-confident on your part. Make a point to ask your date questions about themselves so they feel like you’re interested in getting to know them as well. A first date should be a platform to engage with each other to decide if you want a second date.

5. Drinking too much
First dates are already nerve-wracking enough without throwing alcohol into the mix. Not only is getting drunk on a first date embarrassing from a social perspective; it can also be unsafe to drink too much around a stranger. While enjoying a cocktail, a beer, or a glass of wine on a first date can help you relax and lead to more intimate conversation; too much liquid courage can lead to oversharing about yourself and your past too early on, and may scare a potential partner away.